words @ Debarati Ray
image @ Internet
In a superficial way to interpret the word `disrespect` always comes with a sense of humiliation where either you can have a feeling of unpleasantness, a feeling of remaining as an odd one among the so called group of respected individuals or have that bitter feeling to see your presence as nothing, but something as an useless caricature to be fitted into this so called world of perfection. But in a deeper way to interpret, as I mean to say, if you introspect a bit, you can understand that this word, `disrespect` has nothing to do with your inner spirit. Rather, you can take it as a stepping stone to build yourself in a newer way. However I feel, it also acts as a catalyst to regain your inner spirit, once again and pushes you forward to that path of satisfaction and contentment from where quite surprisingly, you yourself may start to feel that you too have a special purpose on this earth of survival.
Really the word, `disrespect` doesn`t have any value unless and until you take that humiliation on a personal level. I mean, unless and until you start to disrespect yourself and make yourself feel that you`re nothing but only a helpless creature to be humiliated again and again on this earth. But remember, here in this blog I`m not suggesting you to hit them back in a stern way, the way they treated you. But here I would like to suggest you to be a bit calmer, be an observer rather than being an attacker in the same way like them. But in order to be that observer, you need to be stable inside. As this is only the observation that can bring along a total change all through your personality not only to rise you up from all those petty nuances, helping you to understand the actual meaning of self- respect but also to bring that self- reflection within in order to handle that humiliating situation in a more mature and scientific way.
Disrespect doesn`t have any value unless and until you start to treat yourself in the same way:
Though on a superficial understanding, an automatic feeling of irritation and bitterness at once comes to our mind, the moment we utter this word, `disrespect`, but if we delve within a bit more, quite gradually we start to feel that this word has nothing to do with our own self- esteem. Rather, the more we take it on a personal level, the more we devour ourselves by the menacing tentacles of self- deprivation. And the more it`ll spread its tentacles quite unconsciously of us not only to feel ourselves doomed as for now and ever, but also to generate a feeling of discontent within us that may ultimately lead us to prove ourselves as a total misfit in this so called world of success and perfection. And here in lies the unfortunate consequence of taking that disrespect personally.
But most of the time we forget about our inner spirit and quite unknowingly of us either start to judge ourselves according to others` opinions or start to hit them back in a same humiliating way. As generally this is quite our natural tendency to hit back. But right at this juncture, I would like to remind you that hitting back is not the proper answer to a disrespect. As the more you hit them back, the more you`re aggravating their tendency to hit you back in the same way. And the more you`re diminishing your true glory and energizing their bitter intensions to hit you back. But in this due course of getting humiliated and hitting them back in the same way, you`re completely forgetting about the fact that their observations are nothing, but their own reflections according to their own knowledge and visions, concerning the world. So the more you indulge into their observations, the more you`ll be consumed by those negative spell of irritations and hatred.
So, I think it`s better to let those haters busy with all their own observations and allow yourself to be free from all those petty nuances, preparing yourself to feel the vivacity of your own life with your own colors. As life is not all about to run according to others choice and preferences, rather it`s a blissful journey to move ahead and to tell your enemies;
“Hey! It`s all because of your disrespect that I`m here with all my strength, all my inner spirit once again! Yes! it`s all for your humiliation that ultimately helped me out to choose the right things in a right accord. It`s all because of your bitterness I still can feel the sweetness of my heart, still can feel the sweetness of the world outside. It`s all because of those disrespect that ultimately paved my way to the doors of that divine and helped me out to see my reflection in a greater way! Yes! It was all for those disrespects that ultimately lead me to know myself…”
Let`s be a scientific observer when someone disrespects you:
I think, in order to handle the disrespect in a mature way, you need to be very calm and poised with your own identity. In that sense taking revenge is not an ultimate solution to any kind of humiliation. As the moment you`re preparing yourself to take that revenge, remember the moment you`re pushing yourself one step backward from your ideal purpose. And as a result of that you`re not only diminishing your glory, but also aggravating their ill desires to spread their tentacles in an all- menacing way.
In this respect, I`m not suggesting you to ignore them all together. As you can only ignore for a certain period of time. In a long run you cannot ignore those humiliations all together. So I feel, what you need to do is not to get involved wholly, rather if possible, try to maintain an unbiased attitude towards them. If possible, try to maintain an impersonal detachment to the entire circumstances and allow your higher energy to be poised with your own center. Hitting back and treating them in a same way doesn`t really have any value. As their opinions don’t really matter to judge your own worth.
Rather, hitting them back is not only a wastage of time, but also treading on a wrong path from where nothing fruitful will come along. Moreover, on the contrary that hitting back may ultimately destroy your mental peace. And quite gradually a similar sense of hatred and bitterness start to grow within yourself and once again you start to lose that ideal track that you`ve been searching for, since your eternal existence.
In that case, observation has an enormous power to deal with this disrespect; not an analytical one but a scientific observation that may help you to withheld from all those sense of hatred and bitterness and also has that healing power to move you forward to your ideal purpose. But at the same time during that period of observation, you need to be less emotional to them. Otherwise in a natural emotional outburst you`ll exactly do the same as they did to you. Here in lies the power of that impersonal detachment; here in lies the effectiveness of a dispassionate and scientific way of contemplation. In a way, it can be considered that this scientific and less analytical observation can bring along an utter change not only to your personality, but also to that entire circumstances that was trying to hold you back.
Though on a very first phase it may seem to you as nothing, but only a foolish observation to handle such a humiliating situation. Your brain will continually knock at your mind`s door to hit them back and make them feel that they have to pay for their behavior, but if you pause a little and allow your inner self to contemplate the more, quite automatically you may feel that taking revenge and hitting them back in the same way actually doesn`t have any power to change the circumstances. Rather bursting with that negative emotion can only mar your own condition, ruin your own happiness and day by day you start to lose your own inner power in a surprising way.
Resentment towards others not only undermines your thought process, but also corrupts the purity of your heart and once again you may start to feel that you don`t have anyone by your side. But on the contrary if you start to handle the situation in a deeper way with more love and understanding, quite gradually you may have that realization that you`re no longer feeling such resentments and anger towards them. Rather, a power of being a silent observer gradually start to grow within yourself. And here in lies the efficacy of being such true observer, the efficacy of a silent observation that always has a greater power to analyze the entire matter scientifically, leaving behind all the personal resentments. Moreover this silent treatment of dealing the opponents in a spiritual way of understanding not only heals you from that disrespect, but also the demarcation between `I` and `you` becomes totally negligible. And in place of that distinction, `we` comes as a healing medicine to perceive and contemplate more in a mature way.
Though it`s been hundred times harder to treat your enemies with love and compassion, pray for them with the same intentions that you do for your friends, but if you delve more, quite gradually you will understand where in lies the difference, where in lies the utility of treating your enemies and haters in a friendly way in order to knock at their conscience not to make them feel embarrassed for their own deeds, but to help them to perceive more deep wihin. Here in lies the magic itself; the magic of being less resentful and more compassionate in your way of behaving and conversing with others.
Although sometimes this loving attitude may not be applicable for all. But remember even if people don`t understand your purpose, never disrespect yourself, never allow yourself to lose your own happiness only because of others ill intensions. Moreover never allow your heart to choose those wrong certificates about yourself send by others. Rather, surrender to the divine during those hours of disrespects. Allow yourself to do that again and again. And I’m quite sure you`ll realize where in lies the actual glory of self- esteem; where in lies the truth of respecting your inner self and transcending your consciousness to that higher truth of healing your heart and responding to your soul`s choice in a newer way of understanding.
If possible introspect a bit and allow yourself to choose the highest frequency:
“It was all like a rejection…a labyrinthine maze indeed…but the thing that now I realize, it was all because of me that those humiliations had been able to shake my foundations all together…as now I feel, it was actually my allowance and indulgence that helped them out to humiliate me again and again and to make me feel that I`m nothing, but only a stupid character, groveling on this earth as a poor caterpillar to be teased and rejected by others….but something happened on that blessed night…some miracle that still I feel! But it completely changed my conception…and quite unknowingly of myself I started to surrender to the divine…with all my grace…with all my loopholes…with all my knowing…with all the unknown…I had that time… I surrendered completely….and the rest is a history!”
Yes! That surrender actually helped him out to create a breakthrough, enabling him to establish as a successful stage performer. While a few years ago it was just next to impossible for him to create that havoc in such a surprising way. Those disrespects were actually proved for him as a gateway to see himself on a greater mirror.
And spontaneously, even quite unknowingly of himself it all happened like a self- reflection; like an automatic admiration of himself. Yes! A spontaneous admiration and respect for your own, of your own, by your own. Because if you continuously fail to respect your being as a whole, it`s quite obvious that you`ll not only fail to stand on your ground, but also fail to surrender to that ultimate source of divine energy. And as a result of that, quite gradually you start to lose your confidence, start to forget the actual meaning of your existence as well.
This complete surrender to the divine not only helps you to introspect a bit, but also helps you to connect with your inner self in a blissful way. And during the course of this introspection, you`ll not only be able to see your loopholes, but also be able to allow your higher self to choose the highest frequency in order to help you out to identify your greater abilities. And trust me, this miracle cannot be possible unless and until you choose to respect yourself and surrender to the divine in a blissfully guided way. As this is the ultimate way to talk with your own, to feel your presence and to make a history that never happened before.
Instead of hitting back and taking revenge on others, observing and introspecting within is far more helpful to handle any disrespectful situation. And in a quite surprising way this introspection actually prepares your soul to surrender to the divine. And there is no denying of the fact that this surrender actually helps you out to forget about those disrespectful situations, allowing your soul to dance with her happy wings, once again, enabling you to choose what is actually meant for you.
Moreover it is this surrender that only knows how to prepare your inner power to struggle a lot, how to prepare your essence to be grounded with your true being. Yes, here in lies the miraculous power of choosing your own enigma; the miracle of your existence and the miracle of a true surrender!
So, there`s no other alternative rather than to respect yourself, rather than respecting your existence, your true power as well. In this connection, I would like to remind you one of the most wonderful miracles of our nature itself. It may seem to you as one of the ordinary incidents that happen on a regular intervals. But if you introspect a bit, quite automatically you will realize a deeper fact that is already interwoven. And that is nothing, but a simple yet miraculous transformation of a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly. And I feel this only happens because that caterpillar never denies its existence, never questions of God`s wonder, but only allows her soul to grow in a natural way. And on a fine morning the miracle happens in the lap of nature when that caterpillar ultimately allows its wings to free itself up and transforms it into a colorful butterfly in order to feel its true essence in a divinely blessed way!
Here in lies the wonder; the miracle of Nature itself. Here in lies the true power of our soul who is always with the spontaneous flow of nature itself. So, never feel bad when someone disrespects you, rather surrender yourself completely to the divine, talk to your inner self and allow your soul to choose what is best for her according to the flow of nature. Trust me, the divine will help you out. It may take time, but it will. And then you need not to be couched yourself in a cocoon, rather can trust your wings and greet the world by saying;
“Yes! I`m with all my essence… I don`t need to have any others opinions or appreciations…but I know whatever I`ve, I`m content with that…whoever I`m, I respect myself…”
So now the choice is yours; distrusting yourself and remaining as a caterpillar or respecting your being in order to be that colorful butterfly. Choice is yours, my dear! So let`s delve more within.
