I know, it’s been a tough reality for most of our aged persons to accept themselves that they`re growing old. But, in this connection, I would like to say one simple thing that our age is nothing but only numerical digit, constantly reminding us of an unpleasant reality that we all have to digest on a particular turning point of our life. But to me, this old age is nothing but a certain stereotypical concept that we often, quite unknowingly of ourselves, ingrain into our mind and start to feel ourselves as some lonely individuals.
While, in an actual sense it`s not an end but a newer dawn to revisit your past, sometimes through a newer lens, the lens of your wisdom while life may not mock at you as a mere survival, rather you may feel your whole life as a spiritual journey to perceive, coming at this sunset point. At this stage, you may pause for a while, may stumble to exasperate a bit. But never lose hope. Thanks to God that you`re still alive and try to continue your journey not as a mere survivor, but as an explorer who wants to explore something different, something magical. May be something like the sunrise of a newer dawn.
“It`s a tough time you know/ as your hairs are turning grey/ letting you know /a harsh truth of reality/Yes! You`re growing old/your shrunken face may stumble/ for once, before the mirror/ where once a stunning look/used to smile, without any fear/but try to peep into your eyes/ forgetting the fears, all the sighs/there still some other sparks/You may find/some innocence, perhaps/ that knows no age/ calling you once again/may be/a greater mark to make!”
When age knocks at your door, allow your child self to shine, once again:
Most of us cannot accept that we`re growing old, our hairs are turning grey and our body is not working as before. For most of you, this old age is nothing but a punishment itself to sustain in this world even at the face of health hazards and life threatening changes when you`re finding no one to console you, finding no shelter to rest your weak shoulders, even finding nobody to share your thoughts and weaknesses. You may feel lonely and sometimes an acute sense of depression may also come into your mind only to discover that you`re a helpless creature, sustaining on this planet for no reason. Here comes the meaninglessness of your existence that quite unconsciously pushes you forward towards a depressive state from where you may find death is the only option to escape from this excruciating pain that is giving you nothing but only hopelessness and an unending process of waiting! Though, we all know that death is inevitable for all of us, for all of the mortal beings. But, is this the only gateway to release yourself from all your pains? Think twice, you`ll get your answer. And I think, your wisdom will never let you feel alone as at this age you`re wise enough to find out this truth, the inherent truth of your existence. If possible ask you again; have you been waiting for this end, all through your life? Or there is some other reason that keeps you alive, still now. Ask yourself. You may have your answer.
In this connection, I would like to tell you that your old age is nothing but serves as a mirror of your own wisdom to behold the image of your true self, once again where you`ll get to know about your true purpose on this planet. It always gives you that recluse when through the process of reminiscences, you`re not only able to look back your past but also may get a broader vision of your life that`s still awaiting for you to discover a newer version, a version that`s waiting to remind you that you`re still alive and you should have to enjoy your life, once again with a newer grace, a grace that is ageless and eternal. And this is the highest truth of our life itself that often we forget and indulge ourselves into a labyrinthine tunnel of boredom and despair, simply because we`re aging. At this juncture, I still remember that conversation that once I had with an old man, while I used to walk on the beach of Rushikonda, during my few weeks stay over there. On an apparent level, he was quite a simple person but his very nature that attracted me a lot was something exceptional and astounding in itself. On his every beach walk, he used to collect some pebbles, scattered here and there all over the beach and join himself with some street urchins only to make some craft work by the help of those pebbles. And every time after making something creative out of those, he used to leave those pebbles at that same place from where he collect them, only to be swept away by the tides. And this incident on a regular basis surprised me a lot. And one fine morning, during my walk I asked him out of curiosity; “Are you a pebble artist or something?” He gently replied, “Artist? We all are artists, my dear! It`s only the matter of viewing, how are you visualizing your life…” But, as I was not satisfied enough, I decided to ask him further; “As you`re making such marvelous arts on the beach, so why are you leaving those pebbles only to be swept away by the tides in a natural norm? So, where in lies the meaning of collecting those, creating such arts and leaving those behind, only to be washed away by the waves?” He gently smiled and replied; “This is the truth of our life, where we all come, live and depart, just like those pebbles with a newer tide, towards an unknown ocean of eternity…but the most magical thing is art never fades away; and this art is nothing but the art of our life itself. So, is it okay for us to linger over the past? Or should we brood over that unseen future that someday, a destructive force would come along and perish us all? I think, our existence on this planet is nothing but like those pebbles on the seashore that may be swept away by the tides of time, in any circumstances. But, if we indulge ourselves, continually into that thought, we cannot live our life, we cannot engage ourselves into the art of creation, into the art of creating our life, evolving our soul that is pure and innocent like a child. As she knows no age. Time comes, circumstances change only to prepare ourselves, once again for a newer dawn, for a newer rhythm of life only to remind us to be connected to our childlike state when we all used to enjoy our days without any worries, without any fears. It always had a different rhythm and this rhythm is called the rhythm of eternity, a rhythm that always inspires your soul to surrender to the divine and enjoy the moment as it comes to you…” He paused for a while. That day we met for the last time. But there was something special in his words, I felt. Then he was returning and waving me from a distance. And a trail of boys were following him, I saw. I waved him back, stood still over the beach only to discover him as a man who in spite of seventy five years of age, still in the belief of creating art, creating the art of life, living and enjoying life with a newer spirit, sometimes creating some pebble arts, sometimes spending his time with some simple street urchins and engaging them too into this beautiful art of creation, where his older self is not looking back to the past with some regret, rather filling up the gap in a creative and more in a powerful way where nothing but feeling the truth of eternity is the only way to perceive himself.
The sun was setting, leaving behind the clouds, slightly crimsoned in color. I stood still over the beach to see those clouds, hovering over the western sky. May be, they`re trying to whisper some truths. The truths of eternity, perhaps.
Now, allow your wisdom to be enlightened with the truth of eternity:
In this section, I would like to share with you another miraculous incident that happened with an old woman at seventy years of her age. This miracle happened to her in a sleepy, drowsy state when she was going through an acute state of depression and loneliness. In her dream, quite unexpectedly, she felt the presence of some mysterious force, within herself, trying to whisper about her special energy that had been with her, since eternity and will be after her body will be deceased. She described that experience, to me in a disjunctive way as it came to her during that fragmented, dreamy state. But, I somehow felt a harmony, a wonder in her confession. In that dreamy state, she experienced that it was a dark street without any street lamp, but somehow her entity didn`t let her to stop, to look back, rather inspired her to continue her journey. And, as she did that, quite unexpectedly she found her eternal soul mate with whom she used to play during her childhood, without any worries, without knowing the bars of time and space. And at that very moment, she felt content, within. She felt that she was not alone, rather with some eternal energy, surrounding her being and will be even after this lifetime. She found the truth of eternity where her old age stood before her as a state of revelation, as a stage of her life that allowed her to introspect in a deeper level and to make her feel the bliss of liberation even being on this mortal plane. She found the true meaning of her life and decided to continue her life, not mourning over the past grieves and waiting for an sorrowful end, rather learning how to live and believe on an eternal truth; that`s beyond this tangible world of reality and viewing life not as a macabre predicament but as a fruitful exploration that`s needed to be explored and created in a newer way, even coming at the sunset point of her life. Because, you as a human body may perish with the invincible force of time, but your worth, your integrity would never be perished just because of your age. As your age has nothing to do with your soul. She is ageless, quite like a child, pure and innocent, timeless and eternal and very much indestructible in nature but always has that infinite wisdom to change your state of being, to ground yourself with a different life purpose, with a different stage of reality to find the true meaning of your existence.
That night, I couldn`t sleep well. I was just trying to feel her every words. And somehow I felt that she was not depressed, not even in a trance like state, while she was sharing with me that dream experience. She was very much in herself and trying to fill up some gaps. I realized that it was not a simple dream but a desire of her subconscious to be aligned to her childlike state, to that blissful state where her entity once again had found the true color of her existence, the true meaning of her life for which she always longed for. And it completely left me speechless. And that night I wrote down these words, on behalf of her dream experience;
“As I move along, I find no one / not even those street lamps /those used to shine that time /down into the street/ to remove my fears and/ all the backlogs that/ still I bear/I startle for a moment/but move forward/there I meet a little girl/smiling and standing in front of me/but, her face is quite akin/to that one who had been my mate/with a little pony tail, around her neck/now, inviting me, to a special realm/I guess/ may be to that place/where the lamps always glitter/quite, like the stars of heaven!”
