“ Sometimes, he comes to fly me up/ I get thrilled, yet overwhelmed a bit / which way he wants to lead me up/ sometimes, I get puzzled myself/ don`t know, how to mend up that puzzling self/ he wants to fly me up and up in the air/ but don`t know himself which story, exactly he wants to share/ But like a sudden revelation she comes/ as the night creeps up on the valley/ to heal it once again with all her essence/ with all her, magical touch!”
Only a cursory glance at this poem may make you feel wondered; but if you probe into it, you`ll get a different, yet deeper meaning that you`re always confronting with in your real life. You may think, what is this feminine self, I`m talking about? Is this some special attribute that only women possess or something that we all have within, irrespective of our gender? In this connection, I would like to tell you that this feminine self is nothing but the guiding principle of our life itself that we always tend to overlook in the course of our usual way of thinking. Some of you may feel that your life purpose is only to pursue some achievements that you cannot handle without being logical. Though, to some extent it`s been true because rationality always gives you that support that you need to have in order to sustain in this material world.
But, whenever you`re getting encountered with any irreparable loss or confronted with some dilemma in your life that`s beyond any logical interpretations, you may pause for a while, perturb a bit. And only then, you can feel some mysterious, yet gentle touch of a caressing energy, coming forward, quite surprisingly, from the depth of your heart to lift you up for a higher purpose that still remained unknown to you. And then, for the first time you`ll get introduced with your feminine self. Then you may feel, what would be the ideal purpose of your life? Is it only in the pursuit for a never ending success? Or is it in the recognition of yourself that your feminine side trying to show you in an intuitive way? You may get puzzled again and that energy seem to fade away with a wink of an eye! You may stand still, dumbfounded a bit, but don`t know how to evolve yourself. You may seek help from your logical conscious mind. But, at that very moment, you may realize that your rational mind is also getting puzzled like yourself! Here, in this blog, I would like to lay bare that implicit truth that your puzzling self is always searching for, but never finding that in a rational way of understanding.
Repression of your feminine self always leads you to a state of existential despair
In this section, I would like to tell you that I`m not here to talk about some gender disparity. As we all are the living bodies with our soul inside, since the primordial time of our existence that serves as a secret energy to inspire us, irrespective of our gender. She always serves as a complementary part of our rational self in an intuitive manner. Whenever your masculine self gets tired, finding no proper track with his logical potential to find your inner worth, she always comes forward not only in a psychological way where your emotions can find their true colors to express, but in a spiritual way where you yourself can recognize your true being, your true purpose on this planet. So, whenever you`re neglecting her soft whispers, you`re not only repressing your heart`s desire but repressing that higher consciousness within, that can lead you to meet the independent and interstitial flow of your soul, deep inside.
And in the course of this repression, you`re not only blocking the paths of your psychological growth but also hindering all the potentials of your feminine self to flourish within, to create something new as per as your soul`s imagination. As a result of that you yourself are inviting that stage of identity crisis in your life, in spite of being at the peak of your material success. You may frustrate yourself, mourn for a while, asking yourself “is this the perfect way of living? So, what is causing me this emptiness?” This same case held true for a businessman who never paid any heed to his heart`s desires, never allowed himself to enjoy life with his friends and family members but always kept himself busy in money making and the overall success of his company. Even, he never paid any attention to the needs and desires of his employees. He only ordered and asked them for the production according to his demand. Within a few years, as a result of his stern behavior, things started to worsen and he faced an utter disaster, when his employees started to revolt against him and threatened him that they would no longer be able to work for him amidst that inhuman work environment where human beings are categorized only in the form of some nine to five job attendants. That agitation of his employees literally shook the whole empire of his business. And as a result of that, his whole existence started to crumble down. He started to realize that a continuous repression of his heart`s desires, ultimately had turned him into a human machine. Because when he build that company he not only invested in it, his intellect and diligence but also poured his emotions as well. But afterwards, he forgot of that feminine energy that worked for him behind the scenes during that time. And in the course of that realization he also felt that he had made a bigger mistake by betraying that energy that once supported him as a caring mother, only in order to gain material success and that disastrous situation is nothing but the consequence of that self- betrayal. I still remember the final message that I listened from one of his employees to whom he shared his grief when he was at his own chamber, alone and finding his own faults in a depressive way; “Truly a balance was needed, inside!”
Recognizing your feminine self helps you to connect to your spiritual center
Whenever our souls cry, she cries in an invisible way, in a way where we no longer aware that we`re alive, but quite mechanically move our body from here and there, remaining unknown of the fact that we`re only surviving, but not living with that spark of life. And it happens when you neglect your soul and indulge yourself in the pursuit of gaining material success. Though it doesn`t happen for everyone but I think, some of you may experience that inner cry of your soul when your tender heart is trying to tell you something and you`re doing something else. If you think that the over indulgence into this feminine side may make you feel feeble and the outside world may consider you as a person of less intellect and power, I would assure you that this is not the right way to perceive this matter. Rather, you need to fathom deep into your heart. Let`s pay heed to that silent self; is she trying to demotivate you? You may find the answers. But I would suggest you to find those answers not in a conscious way of reasoning, but in a transcendental way of perceiving your soul, inside. Deep into your heart, you may feel her gentle yet majestic presence. You may also feel that she`s not telling you to leave your intellect altogether, rather inspiring you to descend down into the depths of your being and recognize your true power, inherent within you, very much essential to create and evolve yourself, once again for a higher purpose, for a greater reason. Though gentle and caring in nature as the dove inside her nest, but with a wink of an eye she can transform herself as the phoenix to rise you up from the ashes. And here in lies the purpose of recognizing your true spiritual center from which you got separated in the course of enjoying or pursuing the glittering extravaganzas of your life in order to gain material success.
In this connection, I would like to suggest that this spiritual center is nothing but the center of your being where your soul is truly aligned to a powerful divine energy that not only surrounds your being but surrounds the entire universe as well. But whenever you`re neglecting your feminine self, you`re not only depriving yourself from that spiritual center, but also blocking the path of that divine energy to flow within yourself. And the immediate result to confront is only the dilemma in perceiving the matter of what you truly want and what you need to have to live in this beautiful world of creation. Because, creation is not something that needs a definition in a logical way of understanding, but something that directly comes from your soul allowing you to contemplate in a deeper way. And when this happens, you can feel an eternal bliss and tranquility within yourself that allows your heart only to breathe, to be aligned to that divine energy that may always inspire you to see the beauty of a silent night, where the darkness of a night bears some special message for a newer dawn.
A true emergence of yourself always needs a proper balance, within
In this section, I would like to draw your attention towards an incident where you may get an implicit truth about the mysterious working power of your feminine self and how does she work, within your being to enliven yourself. Because soul searching is a special journey where one`s outer layer of mind gets confronted with the inner most depth of one`s being. And sometimes it channelizes one`s consciousness towards a different realm where the only truth is to be aligned to the inner most core of your being, where there will be no gap in between the two layers of your mind, rather you can find yourself as a blissful entity, aligned to your true self that continually inspires you to move forward not at the cost of sacrificing your masculine self but bringing that balance within you, where your masculine self will no longer be able to hinder the path of your feminine self. Rather, with her help, he`ll get to know, at which point, you need to transform yourself, to flourish your entity, once again with a newer approach where your feminine self wouldn`t feel herself betrayed but find her own restoration in a creative way. And therein lies the meaning of your true existence.
In order to explicate it in a simpler way, here I`m going to share with you an incident that happened with a lady named Sophia, five years back. I got to know about her from one of my psychologist friends who had treated her for about a year. A continuous repression of her feminine self quite unexpectedly had leaded her towards an utter state of depression that quite surprisingly kept her unknown of the fact that she was actually going through such crisis. But that thought of repressing her emotions came in a way when continuous humiliation from the external society, somehow told her to be more bold and courageous as the men. May be somehow, this feeling of ameliorating herself to that social status where she wouldn`t have to be bullied, or fooled like before, she had developed within, quite unconsciously a hard masculine layer that continually prompted her to be more aggressive and strict than her original nature. She always tried to pretend that she is strong and confident enough. Though, apparently she had attained every success that a person can hardly have in his/ her life. But deep inside, she was suffering from a sorrow that leaded her towards that unpredictable state of depression. Now I`m going to tell you her confession that she shared with my friend during the moment when she completely lost her feminine self but quite surprisingly been able to restore that, once again with the help of my friend;
“During those long tiring days, sometimes I used to show the world that I`m very much elated. But you need not to think that I was happy from inside, rather I felt happy because from now on no one can harass or humiliate me like before. I had everything to sustain, I had everything that some of you might not even imagine in your whole life. I used to get myself busy at work…convincing myself that I`m happy…But some unnatural feelings started to keep me awake at night. For the first few days, I felt, it might be because of that unbearable work pressures, I was going through in those days. But after few days, things got started to worsen more. I immediately came to you for some consultations. You suggested me to think, to contemplate more, whenever I find any sort of recluse after a day`s break. I used to do that. But didn`t find what exactly was hindering my path. But, somehow I had an intuition that I was betraying myself, I was getting separated from a nourishing and caring energy that once I used to feel, within. Then something happened just like a miracle. That was a calm night, the stars were aligning to their true spirits. I stood still under the sky and somehow felt a dimmed yet very much graceful radiance is pouring down on the earth, trying to pour its grace on me too. And quite naturally, all those rigorous thoughts of achieving something greater than those who once bullied me, started to fade away. I felt deep in my heart that someone as a mother figure was watching over me that night. She was like an eternal source of energy, calming me down, yet at the same time inspiring me to nurture that innocence, the purity of my heart that once I buried, within considering it as only a feeble form of my personality. And then I got realized that she was not only inspiring me, rather asking me to talk with my only friend, my only savior, my feminine self not to sustain in this world but to live in a way where my soul will have that much space to flourish herself in a spontaneous way, without any hindrance…”
You may be eager to know, did she quit her job after that realization? But, I would say, if you think so, you`re absolutely interpreting it in a wrong way. That recognition with her feminine self was needed for her to bring her balance back, to get her in touch with her ideal essence that once she left behind. And with the help of that self- reflection only, she was able to maintain her job in a peaceful way where she never needed to sacrifice her soul`s desires, at the cost of gaining material success, rather it leaded her towards that direction where her feminine self ultimately got succeeded to maintain the balance with her logical masculine energy, enabling her to find a deeper understanding to recognize an eternal energy of her soul that knows no boundaries, knows no language of repression, but knows only the meaning of a higher cognition, of a higher creation.
